Ben Higgins has experienced plenty of difficulties since his time on The Bachelor franchise, but now he is taking some time to focus on himself.

During an appearance on Trista Sutter’s Better Etc podcast, the former lead of The Bachelor opened up about his recent struggles with mental health. He revealed that he’s figuring out the next phase of his life, and he is doing it back in his native Indiana. 

It hasn’t been easy for Higgins, who admitted to building his identity around fame from the reality TV show and eventually started seeking validation from the industry.

I tried to stay relevant, and the more I did that, the more I lost myself, the more I was living, not just for other people, but just for other people’s attention, not even to have a connection with them.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Ben Higgins (@higgins.ben)

This isn’t the first time Higgins has been vocal about some of his struggles — he came clean about battling a painkiller addiction earlier this year. 

Ben Higgins Is Struggling Before Fall Wedding

On the bright side, Higgins has someone he can rely on. He is engaged to Jessica Clarke, who he met outside of the reality series after his previous engagement with Lauren Bushnell.

The Generous Coffee co-founder proposed to his fiancée last year while they were quarantining together. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Ben Higgins (@higgins.ben)

Months later, the couple bought their first home together in Colorado and will wed this November. 

The reality star and Clarke met after he messaged her on Instagram. They went public with their relationship in February 2019 and have shared their romance with fans on social media since.

Despite having his wedding to look forward to, Higgins admitted that while he was excited about the wedding, he was “not good at experiencing joy right now” and “not good at celebrating things” as well. He opined that this was likely because of his ego “playing tricks” on him. 

Ben Higgins’s Previous Engagement

Higgins made his The Bachelor debut during Kaitlyn Bristowe’s 2015 “Bachelorette” season, where he finished as the second runner-up. He returned to the franchise in 2016 as the Season 20 lead of The Bachelor.

He ultimately proposed to Lauren Bushnell on the show’s season finale, just days after Higgins had told his runner-up, JoJo Fletcher, that he loved both her and Bushnell. 

Still, Higgins and his then-fiancée, Bushnell, moved in together and starred in their subsequent reality series, Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After? 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Ben Higgins (@higgins.ben)

But a happy ending was not in the cards for these two. They shocked fans by calling off their engagement in May 2017. A part of the strain on their relationship came from Higgins’ feelings for Fletcher, and the other part was because of the reality show.

Higgins revealed that they were young and still getting to know each other when they got engaged and soon realized they were not the best fits.