Lori Gottlieb Conceived Her Son Through Donor Insemination, And Faced Challenges To Find The Right Donor
American writer Lori Gottlieb gave birth to her son in 2006. However, Gottlieb's motherhood experience was entirely different from most mothers as she found herself wanting to have a family without a Mr. right. Rather than waiting for a husband, she had chosen a sperm bank to conceive a child.
The Dear Therapist writer has talked on various platforms regarding her experience before and after motherhood, especially with no partner.
Finding The Right Donor Was A Challenge For Lori Gottlieb
When Gottlieb opted to have a kid with donor insemination, the phenomenon was not very popular. So, she faced numerous issues on the way.
In an interview with Psychotherapy Networker magazine, Gottlieb came forward telling how hard it was to find the correct donor. She explained the whole selection process in detail and expressed how arduous it was to decide if the donor she chose would have traits she liked.
The columnist also shared an incident when the vial of sperm she finally selected was out of stock due to popular demands. In desperation, she asked someone she knew for his sperms. However, the man decided not to be of help. Just at the right moment, the donor she chose initially became available again. And she could continue with the process.
"Well, you picked a very popular donor, and he’s on backorder,” they told me. After all the time it took to find a donor that felt right, I was crushed. At that point, I asked someone I knew in real life if he’d be my donor, and it seemed like it might work out, but ultimately he decided not to go forward with it. Luckily, the donor that I chose from the sperm bank became available again.
While the fertility counselor has been vocal about struggles on finding a donor, she has also spoken about motherhood issues. The good thing is she finds humor when she explains the strains of being a single mother.
In a blog for Women's Health, Gottlieb mentioned how people would call her brave for choosing to be a single mother. The psychotherapist then added that she realized calling someone brave was a way of people showing sympathy.
Brave seemed to be code for "Thank God I'm not in your situation."
Despite all the struggles, the single mother shares a strong bond with her son and is undoubtedly very happy with him.
On her website, the Standford graduate stated that having a child has changed her and made her more compassionate. That being said, the author has also not shied away from expressing her desire for a traditional family.
Lori Gottlieb Wanted A Traditional Family
In her article, Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough, Gottlieb poured out her honest opinion. She wrote how her opposition to the idea of settling down made her realize that settling was actually the better option than wandering through life alone.
Obviously, I wasn’t always an advocate of settling. In fact, it took not settling to make me realize that settling is the better option
The unmarried mother received a lot of hate comments regarding the article. Some sources even called her article anti-feminist. Replying to the backlashes, Gottlieb said she knew expressing her want for a different life was a vulnerable move, but being attacked in such a way, left her feeling hurtful and misunderstood.